Now That You Are Leaving
by Allybally
Summary: 15LoveficBut I'm here now, and I'm asking you: Please don't leave. You're too late, Squib. Cody's in NY, doubting her choice, while a heartbroken Squib is left in her wake.
1. Now That You Are Leaving

"It's just, how can she do this!"

"Squib, you need to calm down," Cameron reasoned, "and please stop pacing, you're making me nervous."

"She's leaving, Cameron! New York! That's a whole other country! How can we just let Cody leave?"

"I know she's leaving, man. And I a huge drag, I don't want her to go either. But why are you suddenly freaking out now? I mean she flies out tonight. Could you not have voiced this opinion two weeks ago what there was still a chance of talking her out of it?" Cameron asked.

"I didn't think she was serious two weeks ago! I thought she'd get this thing out of her system within a few days, and realize she doesn't want to leave! We're her friends, why would she leave?"

"Well," Cameron said, sitting on his bed, "you haven't exactly been helping our attempts to win her over, have you?"

"What do you mean?" Squib asked.

"You've practically ignored her for two weeks! And it's not like you expressed any opinion about her going. All you said was 'Have fun in NY'."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" Squib sighed, running his hands though his blond hair, "She leaves in, like, half and hour."

"Go over and talk to her," Cameron suggested, "it's worth a shot." Squib said nothing more, but made his exit and ran toward the faculty dorms.

"Oh, hi Squib," Dr. Myers said, opening the door.

"Hey Mr. Myers, can I talk to Cody quickly?" Squib said, a little out of breath.

Hartley smiled, "Sure, go on up." Squib said thank you and ran up the stairs.

"Cody?" He knocked once and opened the door. The room was almost empty. No pictures on the wall, no clothes in her closet. All her stuff was packed up and ready to go, Squib had passed the boxed in the hall on the way up. All that remained were some streamers and balloons that Cody was now picking up, left over from the party that had been thrown in Cody's honor mere hours ago.

She turned around, "Oh, hey Squib. What's up?"

"I need to talk to you. Don't worry, I'll make it quick."

"Okay, shoot."

"Don't go," Squib said simply.

Cody blinked, "What?"

"I said don't go," he repeated.

"What do you mean 'don't go'?"

"I mean don't go to New York. Stay here, at Cascadia!" Squib's voice was sounding desperate.

"Squib, I can't stay! I have to leave in a matter of minutes!" She half-shouted at him.

"But we're you friends, Cody! We'll miss you…I'll miss you. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. Don't go," Squib finished in a whisper.

"I can't believe you," Cody said quietly, "you decide to dump this on me now? Two minutes before I leave? Where were you two weeks ago, Squib, when I needed to hear all this?" Squib could hear the anger in her steadily rising voice.

"Cody, I know, and I'm sorry! I was a total jerk about this! But I'm here now, and I'm asking you: Please don't leave," Squib said frantically.

"Cody," Dr. Myers' voice echoed up the stairs, "we've gotta go!"

"Coming dad!" Cody yelled back.

"Cody, please…" Squib was cut off.

"You're to late, Squib," she brushed past him and made her way down the stairs. A part of Squib told him to follow her, try to convince her. But he knew it was useless; he had waited too long, and now all he could do was stand in her room and watch the car drive away through the window.

"You okay, kiddo?" Hartley asked his daughter as they drove away. For a moment, Cody considered telling her dad to turn the car around; she knew he would do it. But the logical part of her stepped in. Cascadia was a tennis school, and her life had nothing to do with Tennis. Cascadia wouldn't get her anywhere, this new school would. Even if all her friends were here, it wasn't enough to make her stay. If Squib had come to her two weeks ago, maybe she would have. No. She knew she would have ripped up the letter in a heartbeat, had she heard his confession earlier. But it was too late, she had made her choice.

"Yeah, dad. Just fine."

_I don't know what to do when the fire's going out  
I don't know where it ends and I don't know where it starts  
You tell me that I have to wait until tomorrow  
But I don't know if I can make it through today  
You will never know  
What it's like to be here what it's like to be me  
I won't let it show  
What I'm really feeling now that you are leaving  
One year later and the fire's going strong  
I don't know what I did and I don't know what went wrong  
You tell me that I have to wait until tomorrow  
But I don't know if I can make it through today  
I don't know what you want from me it's something that I cannot see  
And everything you want from me is something I will never be_


	2. Wish Upon A Star

Cody sighed, throwing herself onto her new bed. Saying goodbye to her dad had done nothing to improve her mood, the flight had been long, and it had taken her almost two hours to unpack. Not to mention her conversation with Squib, which had planted the seeds of doubt in her mind. It wasn't fair, she thought. She had accepted the whole situation, true, she wasn't thrilled about leaving her friends, and got a little choked up whenever she thought about it, but she had accepted it. She was ready to leave, and start a new life. But all it took was a five-minute conversation with Squib, and she was already regretting her choice.

The part of her head that spent too much time with her dad told her she needed to stop dwelling on these issues. It would do her no good. The best thing she could do was put it behind her, and focus on New York. She glanced over at the other bed across the room, and wondered when she'd meet her roommate. It would be nice to know someone at this new school. She got up, plugged in her laptop, and opened the internet, planning on playing a game or two to pass the time, when she saw she had a new email. The sender's name read : Adena Stiles.

_Hey, Cody!_

_Adena here, typing on behalf of the group, who are all crowded around the comp right now. Okay, so you haven't even really left yet, we're about to head to your party, but we figured you could use a little something to make you smile when you get to NY. We're going to miss you like crazy! And Tannis says that if you don't write regularly, she'll kick you but. Oh, Cameron says you can take her…And Squib says we should pour jello on you two –rolls eyes-. Anyways, the point is write lots, because the Top Guns won't be the same without you. Even Sunny says she's gonna miss you (yes, she's in here too, but we drew the line at Rick)._

_Love,_

_Adena, Tannis, Squib, Cameron, and Sunny. _

Cody smiled, feeling the familiar lump in her throat. She decided she would email them tomorrow, when she at least had something interesting to say. She busied herself unpacking her pictures, and trying to find a place for all of them.

"You okay, man?" Cameron asked when he entered the dorm and saw Squib laying face down on his bed.

A muffled, yet obviously sarcastic, "Just fine," could be heard.

"I know you're upset about this whole thing, we all are. But you tried your best, there's nothing more you can do. Besides, it's not like we'll never see her again. She promised she'd come visit."

"You're right," Squib, who had turned over so as to be able to hear Cameron, agreed half-heartedly.

"Come on, we're doing the card thing at the open tonight. It'll take your mind off all of this."

"Sure," Squib shrugged and got up.

"I promise, this'll get easier," Cameron assured his, "besides, there are plenty of gorgeous tennis women around here, you'll be fine." Squib chuckled and followed his friend down the hall.

"You must be my new roommate,"

Cody looked up from her photo-album and came face to face with a tall, blonde girl.

"Jackie Parker," she extended her hand.

"Cody Myers," Cody smiled, shaking her hand, and realized how weird it felt not to hear 'You're Dr. Myers' daughter, right?' after she said that.

"You speak French?" Jackie asked, noticing her accent.

"Yeah, I used to live in Montreal," Cody explained.

"Very cool," Jackie smiled, "these your pictures?" She indicated towards the album. Cody nodded, and her new roommate started flipping through it.

"It's nothing great," Cody said, "not the stuff I'd submit. Just me and my friends."

"These are awesome, even for around here," Jackie complimented her. "Who's this cutie?" She asked, holding up a picture of Squib.

"Oh, that's just Squib, a friend of mine."

"Just a friend?" Jackie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes," Cody confirmed, "just a friend."

"Well, I don't know what your problem is. If I had a friend like that, I go after him right away."

"It's a long story," said Cody. Jackie shrugged.

"We're watching movies tonight downstairs in the girls living room. Wanna join us?"

Cody considered saying no, after all, she was tired and not in a great mood. But she realized that her friends were probably all playing cards in the open right now, not moping about because of her.

"Sure," she smiled, as her new friend led her out of the room, the photo-album lying forgotten on the bed.

_Woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed  
Some days you wake up and you wish that you were dead  
You never knew that I loved you and you never will  
You never knew that I loved you  
Wish upon a star I wonder where you are  
The days go by and I still feel the same  
Wish upon a star I wonder where you are  
The years go by and I'm the one to blame  
Drove by your house again today thinking of the past  
You said it's funny how our lives go by so fast  
You never knew that I loved you and you never will  
You never knew that I loved you  
Wish upon a star I wonder where you are  
The days go by and I still feel the same  
Wish upon a star I wonder where you are  
The years go by and I'm the one to blame_


	3. I Touch Myself

_Yes, I know, the chapter title sounds dirty. And yes, I know the song is rather dirty too. But no, this chapter doesn't contain any of THAT, so you can all get your minds out of the gutter! When you ignore the very obvious R-rated message of the song, the rest is actually very sweet. Also there is one tiny spoiler-y detail in here, but I think the only way you could catch is it if you've read the spoiler. And in that case, it doesn't matter. On with chapter 3…_

"So, that was pretty cool, huh?" Jackie asked, flopping down on her bed.

"Yeah," Cody agreed, doing the same on hers.

"They all seem to like you,"

"Thank God!" The two girls laughed. Jackie rose from her bed and picked up the photo-album.

"I never got to finish this," she said. She pulled a picture out and held it up, "This is TOO cute!" Cody saw it was a picture of her and Squib in front of the big Oak tree on the grounds that was taken shortly before she received her letter. "Explain to me why you two never dated?"

"I dunno…we kissed once, but…" Cody found herself stumbling over her words, "neither of us spoke up about our feelings, so we never took it further. And now…. I'm here."

"Well," Jackie said, returning the album and taking her pajamas into the bathroom, "you two are totally adorable, you should've hooked up. I'm gonna go take a shower."

Cody sighed and changed. As she was lying in bed, her mind started replaying all the various moments (and there were a lot) where she could've told Squib how she felt. She sighed, once again just when she was starting to feel better someone brought up Squib. She rolled over, trying to get to sleep before Jackie came out, so she wouldn't have to talk about him anymore.

"You sure, Squib?"

"Yeah Cameron, thanks, but I'm just gonna head up to bed,"

"Suit yourself," Cameron said, closing the door. He and the girls decided to sneak out and see a midnight movie and, in a very uncharacteristic move, Squib had opted to stay behind. Things had been going fine, until they were into their third game of poker and Adena blurted out that Cody would've enjoyed playing. After that Squib had gotten very quiet.

Slipping into bed, he rolled onto his side, only to come face to face with a framed picture of him and Cody. She was wearing a huge smile, with her hands slipped around his neck as if she was chocking him, and he was making a face. A small smile graced his face, as he remembered her giving it to him. She had been apologizing for some fight they had.

He debated hooking up his laptop and seeing if she was online. Usually when he had a problem, he could just track her down in the halls (or if it was night and we was desperate, he could sneak into her room by way of her window). But then again, she wasn't usually the reason he was feeling so down. He rolled over again, deciding it was too late and she was probably asleep anyway.

Jackie, Cody realized, like to take very long showers, which was fine with her. Jackie was nice enough, but Cody really didn't feel like any further discussion for the night. She threw back the covers deciding she couldn't sleep, and crept over to her laptop. She signed in hoping someone would be online.

_Welcome, shutterbug _the screen read. She clicked 'view contacts'.

_Tannisanyone_ is offline

_Nextbillgates_ is offline

_Sunspot is offline_

_Superstar is offline_

_Squibslammer is offline_

Cody frowned. It would have been nice to talk to Squib. Normally she could just sneak into his dorm. She felt her eyes water, as she realized how alone she was. She quickly wiped away the tears threatening to fall and hopped back into bed. She pulled up the covers, hoping the next day wouldn't be quite as painful.

Squib finally decided to turn on the computer on the off chance that Cody was online.

_Welcome, Squibslammer_ he scrolled through his contacts.

_Shutterbug_ is offline 

Even though he had expected as much, he couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. Shutting off the computer and returning to his bed, he wondered if Cody was lonely. He hoped she had already made friends because as much as he hated the thought of being replaced, he hated the thought of her being all alone in a new city even more.

_I love myself  
I want you to love me  
When I'm feelin' down  
I want you above me  
I search myself  
I want you to find me  
I forget myself  
I want you to remind me_

_  
I don't want anybody else  
When I think about you  
I touch myself  
I don't want anybody else  
Oh no, oh no, oh no_

_You're the one who makes me happy honey  
You're the sun who makes me shine  
When you're around I'm always laughing  
I want to make you mine_

_I close my eyes  
And see you before me  
Think I would die  
If you were to ignore me  
A fool could see  
Just how much I adore you  
I get down on my knees  
I'd do anything for you_

_I don't want anybody else  
When I think about you  
I touch myself  
I don't want anybody else  
Oh no, oh no, oh no_

_I love myself  
I want you to love me  
When I'm feelin' down  
I want you above me  
I search myself  
I want you to find me  
I forget myself  
I want you to remind me_

_I don't want anybody else  
When I think about you  
I touch myself  
I don't want anybody else  
Oh no, oh no, oh no_

_I want you  
I don't want anybody else  
And when I think about you  
I touch myself  
Ooh, oooh, oooooh, aaaaaah_


	4. Into Dust

_You should all consider yourselves lucky. I got up at four in the morning to write this just for you. Actually, two of my pals and I had a sleepover, we all fell asleep in my bed, and their hogging the covers, so I decided to come up here. After spending half an hour alone on the message board (by the way, you guys totally have to get on earlier, I'm so lonely!), I got to work in this. Either way, it's 6:16 now, and I'm tired. Hopefully my sacrifice was worth it, let me know what you think._

Squib sat staring at the phone. He had to call Cody, he knew that. He had, after all, promised them all. Everyday or two for the past couple weeks, the Top Guns had phoned Cody in NY, all of them in Tannis and Adena's room on speakerphone. Squib liked this ritual, because it meant he got to hear Cody's voice, but he didn't have to say much to her. Yesterday, however, he had been talking to Gunnerson about a swing he was having trouble with, and had missed the call. Adena had made him promise to call Cody on his own and he agreed, a message that she passed on to Cody herself.

This was different, though. They hadn't talked much since she'd left. Only through emails from and addressed to the entire group, and during group phone calls. But this would just be the two of them; he would have to think of things to say to her. He moved to pick up the phone, but quickly retracted his hand. This was gonna be tough.

Cody sat staring at the phone. Squib was supposed to call her tonight, that's what Adena had said. At first, Cody was upset that he was absent from their usual group call, but that feeling quickly turned into anxiety when Adena promised he would be calling her on his own. She hadn't been able to concentrate all day. What would she say to him? Would he be angry? It used to be so easy to talk with him, but Cody had a feeling their two weeks apart had changed that. She had decided she would ask him about his match, first. Cameron had mentioned that her had one that day. And that was always safe ground; getting him talking about tennis was easy.

She looked around the room. Jackie had gone out with friends, claming she needed some fresh air, but Cody suspected she wanted to giver her and 'lover boy', as she had taken to calling him, some privacy. Cody was thankful for that, as having another person in the room would only make it harder to talk to Squib. She glanced at her watch, and then refocused her gaze on the phone. This was gonna be tough.

Squib hadn't moved. He knew he had to call soon, in half an hour Cameron would be returning for bed check, and any hopes he had of a private conversation with Cody would go down the drain. Why was this so hard for him? He had never had a tough time talking to Cody, which never failed to surprise him. He had never been a very open person, but with Cody the words just seemed to flow. When she had been at Cascadia they had talked about everything and anything, sometimes not because they had an actual reason, but because they just liked each other's company.

He knew if he didn't do this, Adena and Tannis would have his head. He didn't understand why it was so important that he call her when he would just talk to her with the rest of them tomorrow. But they had insisted, claiming they couldn't risk any ties with Cody being severed. He suspected, though, that they were trying to set a reunion of sorts in motion. He knew from the looks they gave him during their almost-nightly calls that they had sensed the awkwardness between him and Cody.

Cody knew what Adena and Tannis were up to. She knew they were making him call her in hopes of them reconciling. She was actually grateful for their meddling, for once. She had wanted to talk to Squib alone since the first day she arrived in New York, but she could never get up the nerve to call him. This way she didn't have to, all she had to do was wait for him to call her. That is, if he ever did. She checked her watch again and realized it was almost lights out, both at Cascadia and in NY. Squib was running out of time.

Squib sighed. He wasn't going to do it. It was as simple as that. He didn't care how mad Adena and Tannis got. He could always lie and say that did call, buying him at least a day until they inevitably found out the truth. He felt bad for leaving Cody hanging like this, but then again, he didn't even know if she was waiting for him. She may have gone to bed a while ago, still angry and not ready for a conversation with him. He could talk to her tomorrow with the rest of the Top Guns.

He got up from his chair, but halfway to his bed, he turned back. He stared at the phone. He really _did_ want to hear her voice…

Cody was beginning to doze off in her chair, when the phone rang. She looked at her watch, and realized it was passed lights out. _Nice timing, Squib_ she thought. She picked up the phone, careful not to sound too eager.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is Jackie there, please?"

Cody heart fell so fast, she was sure she'd felt it hit rock bottom, "No, she's out right now, may I take a message?" She forced herself to say.

"No, that's fine. I'll call back tomorrow, thanks," with that, the other end went dead.

For a brief moment, Cody wondered where Jackie and her friends had, in fact, gone, seeing as it was past curfew. That didn't matter now, though. She had been stood up. Not technically, no, it wasn't like they had a date, or he had promised her himself that he would call. But it was close enough. It still hurt just as much.

She slowly crawled into bed, pulling the covers tight around herself. She forced herself not to cry, not to think of Squib. If he didn't care, then neither did she.

Squib lie in his bead, staring at the ceiling. He was a coward, and he knew it.

_Still falling  
Breathless and on again  
Inside today  
Beside me today  
A round broken in two  
'Til your eyes shed  
Into dust  
Like two strangers  
Turning into dust  
'Till my hand shook with the way I fear_

_I could possibly be fading  
Or have something more to gain  
I could feel myself growing colder  
I could feel myself under your fate  
Under your fate_

_It was you breathless and tall  
I could feel my eyes turning into dust  
And two strangers turning into dust  
Turning into dust_

_-Mazzy Star 'Into Dust'_


	5. The Blower's Daughter

Cody looked out the window as the plane started its descent, Montreal getting closer and closer. She still didn't fully understand why she was here. She had been in NY for just under a month, when Adena had called to inform her Cascadia was holding a dance. This dance also happened to fall upon a long weekend in Cody's schedule. Before she knew it, Adena and her father working together had managed to convince her, and here she was on a plane. She sighed, exhausted. It was quite late. Cody had asked Adena why she couldn't just fly out Friday morning instead of Thursday night, but apparently they needed all day to prepare for the dance.

Roughly 30 minutes later Cody was embracing her father in the airport.

"How was the flight, kiddo?"

"Fine, Dad," Cody smiled. One of the hardest transitions to make in NY was not having her father around all the time. Cody managed to stay awake during the drive to Cascadia, telling her father all about New York.

"Lots of friends?" He asked.

"Ya, lots. They're great," technically, Cody wasn't lying. She did know a lot of nice people, who had invited her to join them on many occasions. Cody just found she was more comfortable being alone. She told herself it was just the shock of a new school, in a new city, with new people. Yet she couldn't help thinking that it hadn't taken her nearly this long to adjust to Cascadia. After giving her father a kiss on the cheek, she headed into her room- her old room, she corrected herself. The last thing she remembered before she fell asleep was an odd feeling of comfort.

* * *

"So, big day today," Cameron said.

"Mmm hmm," was all Squib responded with as he came out of the bathroom, his hair still slightly damp.

"You're not even a little excited about seeing Cody?"

"Sure I am," Squib said, "I'm just busy, is all. I probably won't even have the chance to see her before the dance. I've got extra practice and lots of homework."

"Are you sure you're not just avoiding her?" Cameron asked with a knowing smile.

"Drop it," was all Squib said before heading out the door.

* * *

"Cody!" Adena shrieked, flinging her arms around her friend.

Cody laughed, "Hey guys!" After Adena, she greeted Cameron and Tannis.

"Squib and Sunny would be here," Tannis explained, "but Sunny's got a meeting with her manager, and Squib's off practicing somewhere."

Cody shrugged, "That's cool, I can just see them at the dance." She congratulated herself on not giving away how hurt she was that Squib hadn't shown up. She doubted Tannis and Adena knew about the phone call (or lack there of) two weeks ago, because they hadn't said anything.

"Let's go, Cody," Tannis pulled her out of her reverie.

"Yeah, we have to get ready!" Adena added.

"I'm guessing this is a girls only kind of thing?" Cameron asked.

"You bet," Adena smiled cheekily and she and Tannis led Cody toward their room.

* * *

"What are you doing all the way out here?"

Squib, who had been hitting balls against the wall at the back court, turned around, "What do you want, Sunny?"

"I was just wondering why you're out here all alone, when we both know Cody's a two-minute walk away," Sunny answered.

"Don't you have a meeting?" Squib asked, trying to get the point across that he didn't feel like talking.

"I just got out, and now I'm going to see Cody. What I want to know is, why aren't you?"

"Look, I'm busy okay," Squib said.

"You don't look busy," Sunny retorted, leaning against the wall.

"It's complicated, you wouldn't understand,"

"Well, it doesn't seem that complicated to me. You care about Cody, and you've missed her like crazy. And for a month now, you've been trying to find out how to make up with her. The only thing I don't understand is why you're out here when you finally have a chance to see her. But then again, what do I know?" With that, Sunny walked off.

Squib rolled his eyes, "Stupid kid…" he mumbled, before returning to his tennis.

* * *

"It's a very pretty dress," Sunny said, in a rare moment of compassion, as the girls stood in Tannis and Adena's room admiring Cody. The four of them were in their dresses and ready to leave.

Cody stared at her reflection. The white dress was low cut, but not so much that it wasn't still classy. The thick straps led to a fitting torso, that hugged her just enough to show, and then fanned out at the waistline into a flowing, floor-length skirt. Cody herself thought the dress was too long and that it made her look too short, but Adena assured her it was perfect. He hair, which she had grown out somewhat in NY, had been pulled into a French braid at the back of her head, that was let go into a ponytail at her neck so it flowed over her shoulder, courtesy of Tannis.

"Squib'll go crazy," Tannis assured her.

"I don't care what Squib thinks," Cody said, then quickly cursed herself, because she knew she had answered too quickly.

"Well, either way," Adena said, sharing a knowing smile with the other two girls, "you look amazing."

"Thanks guys," Cody smiled.

"Lets go knock 'em dead," Tannis said cheerfully as she led them out of the room.

* * *

Squib stood by the punch table with a rather bored looking Cameron.

"I hope the girls get here soon," his counterpart said.

"Yeah," Squib agreed, not really listening. He glanced around nervously, still undecided about whether or not he wanted to see Cody.

* * *

Cody followed her friends to the hall where the dance was being held. She suddenly felt very nervous. It was inevitable; she was going to see Squib tonight. She only hoped it went well. In all honesty, she was still rather mad at him. First he had dumped his big, heart-felt confession on her the night before she left, and then he ignored her for a month. But angry or not, Cody knew she wanted to see him.

* * *

Squib's anxiousness was growing, and suddenly his mind was flooded with worry. What would he say to her? Did he look okay? Had she changed in the month they'd been apart? Was she mad at him? Was he mad at her? Did he have a right to be? Should he stick to small talk? Should he apologize? Would it be awkward? Did she even want to talk to him? Should he ask her to dance? Should they find a quite place to talk?

And suddenly he saw her, standing in the doorway.

And suddenly he forgot the question.

_And so it is  
Just like you said it would be  
Life goes easy on me  
Most of the time  
And so it is  
The shorter story  
No love, no glory  
No hero in her sky_

_I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off you  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off you  
I can't take my eyes off you  
I can't take my eyes..._

_And so it is  
Just like you said it should be  
We'll both forget the breeze  
Most of the time  
And so it is  
The colder water  
The blower's daughter  
The pupil in denial_

_I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off you  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off you  
I can't take my eyes off you  
I can't take my eyes..._

_Did I say that I loathe you?  
Did I say that I want to  
Leave it all behind?_

_I can't take my mind off of you  
I can't take my mind off you  
I can't take my mind off of you  
I can't take my mind off you  
I can't take my mind off you  
I can't take my mind...  
My mind...my mind...  
'Til I find somebody new_

_-Damien Rice 'The Blower's Daughter'_


	6. Cannonball

Squib sat frozen as the girls walked towards him and Cameron. Cody looked beautiful. Squib, of course, had always thought she was attractive, but tonight she left him breathless. She hadn't changed much in a month. Sure, her hair was longer, and he thought that maybe she had grown just a bit (then again, it could've just been that Adena had forced her into heels), but she still looked like Cody, and for that he was glad.

Adena, Tannis, and Cody said goodbye to Sunny at the door, as she left to chat with sponsors. They now found themselves face to face with Cameron and Squib.

"You ladies are looking lovely tonight," Cameron complimented.

"Very nice," Squib added quietly, nodding. He wondered if he should say something to Cody, but right there in the middle of the room with all their friends watching didn't seem quite right. He was trying to figure out a subtle way to lead her away from the rest of the group, when Adena spoke up.

"Tannis and I were going to go say hi to some of the sponsors, why don't you join us, Cameron?" It seemed she already had it all planned out. Cameron shrugged and the three walked away, smiling.

"So," Cody spoke up first, "how was the tournament last week? Last I heard, Adena said it was going well." Great, she thought. Not even two minutes alone and she was resorting to tennis talk.

"Uh, yeah," Squib answered, realizing how weird it felt to talk to her after two months of virtually no interaction, "it was good…." As he proceeded to tell her about it, she looked over his shoulder and saw their friends watching them hopefully.

* * *

An hour later, Cameron, Tannis, and Adena still hadn't returned. No matter where Cody and Squib moved in the room, their not-very-subtle friends were watching. To make matters worse, they were running out of topics. They had talked about tennis, the students at Cascadia, Cody's new classes, her teachers; heck, they had even resorted to talking about the weather! Finally, after Squib once again caught the three watching them, he decided he had had enough.

"You wanna get out of here?" He asked Cody, in the middle of her sentence about one of her teachers.

For a moment, she looked like she was going to refuse him, but then, "Sure. I'm sick of them watching us, anyways,"

"Could they be any more obvious?" Squib laughed as the two snuck out the back door. "Where to?" He asked once they had successfully made their exit.

"Doesn't matter to me," Cody answered. They soon found themselves sitting in the bleachers of one of the main courts.

Cody searched for something say, "So…"

"I wanted to call," Squib cut her off.

"What?" Cody asked after a moment of stunned silence.

"I wanted to call you. That night, when I promised I would. It's not like I just decided, no, I don't feel like calling. I sat in front of that phone for hours. But I just…couldn't," he finished, in his opinion, somewhat lamely.

"Oh, yeah, that's fine," Cody tried to brush it off, "I mean, we didn't leave things on the best of terms and…" she trailed off, apparently finished.

"I should've called,"

"It would have been nice," she admitted.

"And about the night you left, I'm sorry about that, too. I was way out of line, I had no right to…"

"Did you mean it?" This time it was Cody cutting him off.

"Mean what?"

"The stuff you said."

"Oh, well, yeah," Squib said slowly, choosing his words, "I mean, of course I didn't want you to leave. You're one of my best friends."

"Oh," said Cody, sounding disappointed.

"What?" Squib asked, wondering what he had done.

"Friends?"

"Well yeah, we are, aren't we?"

"Honestly Squib, I don't know," Cody snapped, "first you're kissing me on boats, then you're going after hot physiotherapists, then you're begging me not to leave, and now we're 'just friends' again!"

"How can you be mad at me for this?" Squib yelled, "What did I do?"

"I wish you would just make up your mind! You make everything so difficult with this all this on again-off again drama," she shot back.

"_Me_? _I'm_ the problem here?"

"What, so you blame me?"

"I'm not the one who left!"

Cody started at him, hurt and shocked, "What was I supposed to do, Squib? Did you expect me to stay at a tennis school forever?"

"This isn't about what kind of school you're at, Cody!" Squib yelled, "It doesn't matter whether you're at a tennis school or an art school! What matters is where your friends are! The people who care about you!"

"Well you're obviously not one of those people!"

"Don't you dare say I don't care about you! I have always cared about you!" He insisted.

"Really? Because you're being unbelievably selfish right now for someone who cares about me so much!" With that, Cody stood, "This was a stupid idea." She turned and walked quickly down the bleachers, heading back towards the dance. Squib sat there for two more hours, before finally deciding to head inside.

* * *

Sunday morning, as Cody was packing the last of her things, she heard the doorbell. She walked downstairs, and opened the door, revealing Squib. To say she was shocked would be an understatement. The two had skillfully avoided each other all of Saturday; they hadn't spoken since Friday night.

"Uh…hi," Cody said.

"I know you don't want to talk to me right now. I don't even know why I'm here," he explained, "I'm still too angry to apologize, but not mad enough that I could just let you leave."

"Okay…" Cody said slowly, still trying to understand him.

"I just," he paused, "I didn't want to leave it like last time. I don't want to spend another month fighting with you."

"I don't want to fight either, Squib, but it doesn't look like we'll be resolving this anytime soon," she said quietly.

"I know," he agreed, "I just wanted to see you before you left."

Cody wondered when it had gotten so complicated between them. A month and a half ago, they were walking through the halls, laughing and joking together. And now they could barely have a civil conversation with each other. The sound a horn honking signaled that Cody's dad was ready to take her to the airport.

"See ya, Squib," she said quietly. She placed one hand on his hip, pulling him in slightly, and placed the other on the junction between his neck and his shoulder. Then, standing on her toes, she placed a soft kiss on his cheek, before turning around and walking toward the car.

Squib lie in bed for hours that night. He could still feel her hand where it had rested on his hip, still feel her fingers on his neck. He could still hear her whisper as she leaned in, and he should still feel her soft lips and warm breath on his face. He knew he should be happy, but he couldn't be. He could tell by the look in her eyes, and the way she spoke to him; it wasn't a kiss filled with promise or hope, it wasn't a kiss of forgiveness. It was a kiss goodbye.

_Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth  
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt  
Still a little hard to say what's going on _

Still a little bit of your ghost your witness  
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed  
You step a little closer each day  
Still I can't say what's going on

Stones taught me to fly  
Love taught me to lie  
Life taught me to die  
So it's not hard to fall  
When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear  
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear  
You step a little closer to me  
So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly  
Love taught me to lie  
Life taught me to die  
So it's not hard to fall  
When you float like a cannon

Stones taught me to fly  
Love taught me to cry  
So come on courage!  
Teach me to be shy  
'Cause it's not hard to fall  
And I don't wanna scare her  
It's not hard to fall  
And I don't wanna lose  
It's not hard to grow  
When you know that you just don't know

_-Damien Rice 'Cannonball'_

_-ducks incoming objects- I'm very sorry, it broke my heart to have them fight again, but I AM a fan of the drama…_


	7. The Rock Show

"Come on, it'll be fun! I promise!"

"I dunno, Jackie…" Cody hesitated.

"You've been totally depressed since you went back home. It's been a week and a half already, this is just what you need to cheer up!" Jackie insisted.

"Fine," Cody sighed, following her out the door, "so who are these guys again?"

"They're a local band, The Ragging Lemurs," Jackie explained. At Cody's quirked eyebrow, she continued, "Hey, don't knock 'em 'til you try 'em." Cody shrugged and followed her out the door.

"Hey guys!" Jackie yelled as they approached her friends. "Cody you know Kaylie, Troy, and Meghan. And this is Evan," she gestured to a tall boy with chocolate-coloured hair.

"Cody Myers," Cody smiled, shaking his hand. She could practically hear Adena squealing, 'CUTECUTECUTE!' and had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She personally thought he looked like a little bit of a pretty-boy.

The six walked to the nearest station, and then jumped on the subway.

"So, have you ever heard these guys?" Evan, who was sitting beside Cody, asked.

"No,"

"Me neither. But to be honest, I don't put much faith in a band named the Raging Lemurs," He said.

Cody laughed, "I know what you mean." She smiled at him. Admittedly, he _was_ kind of cute…

* * *

"I'm going to grab a drink, you want something?" Evan called to Cody over the music.

"Mountain Dew would be nice," she smiled gratefully and he nodded, disappearing into the crowd.

The band wasn't a bad as Cody had thought. Applause signaled the end of their previous song, _Dude, have you seen my boxers?_ They soon moved on to _Hitting People's Cool_ Okay, scratch that, they were horrible. But at least she Evan to keep her company while Jackie and her friends dove into the mosh-pit. After talking, they had discovered that they shared a couple teachers, although their classes were at different times.

"Here you go," Evan said cheerfully, returning with the drinks.

"Thanks," Cody smiled.

"So, you never finished telling me about Mr. Jameson's class,"

"Oh that's right," Cody began, "where was I? Oh yeah! Well, Jackie and I were sitting near the back, and he was droning on about something totally unrelated to math, The Beatles I think it was…."

* * *

"Wasn't that awesome?" Jackie yelled.

"Someone stood a little to close to the speaker," Meghan laughed, the rest of the group joining in.

"You guys wanna go sneak into the kitchens or something? I'm not really tired," Troy suggested.

"Yes! I'm starving!" Kaylie agreed, soon followed but Meghan and Jackie.

"You coming?" Jackie asked Evan and Cody.

"No, I'm gonna head up back," Cody said.

"I'll walk you," Evan offered, and the two made their way inside.

"So, aside from the horrible music, tonight wasn't too bad," Evan laughed.

"Yeah, it was nice," Cody agreed.

"I don't want to sound creepy or anything, I mean, I know we just met, but…you're really awesome, a lot cooler than most of the people around here. I was wondering if you maybe wanted to grab a movie Friday?" Evan asked, suddenly very shy.

"Uh…" Cody stuttered.

"No, that's cool, I mean, there's no pressure," Evan said quickly, "I just thought you…"

"No," Cody interrupted, "I was just kind of surprised. But Friday sounds good. Very good. Great." She smiled.

Evan looked relieved, "Awesome, Friday it is." He smiled back.

"This is me," Cody spoke, pointing to her door.

"Alright, well, I'll hunt you down in the halls or something tomorrow, and we can pick a movie," he said.

"Okay," she smiled for what seemed like the hundredth time. Maybe Evan was just what she needed right now, "Thanks for walking me."

"No problem,"

Cody knew she should probably go inside, but she found herself frozen, standing in the hall with Evan. Suddenly, she realized that not only was he slowly leaning in, but also she was subconsciously rising to her tiptoes. _He has brown eyes_ she thought as they moved continually closer. They were now so near to each other that she could see each individual eyelash, and count all the freckles on the bridge of his nose. She slowly closed her eyes…

* * *

"How was your night?" Jackie asked when she returned, throwing herself on the bed.

"Good," said Cody, marking her place in her book.

"Anything interesting happen?"

"No," Cody knew Jackie was fishing for details.

"Nothing at all?"

"We're going out Friday," Cody revealed.

"Awesome!" Jackie said, "So the night was a success after all?"

"Mmm hmm," Cody said.

"Anything else happen?"

"Not really,"

"Well then, I'm gonna crash. Good night," Jackie said.

"Oh, and we kissed. Good night." Cody flicked off her bedside lamp.

"CODY MEYERS YOU TURN THAT LIGHT BACK ON AND GIVE ME DETAILS RIGHT NOW!"

Cody hit the switch again, "There are no details."

"What do you mean?" Jackie sat up, "Like, three hours ago, you were moping about Squib, and now your kissing Evan! There _must_ be details!"

"I dunno. We kissed, that's it. There's not much to tell,"

"But what about Squib?"

Cody felt a small pang of guilt, "I think Evan's good for me. He's so…normal. And we have the same interests. I really liked him."

"So, no more boy drama for Cody?"

"Not at the moment," she smiled, "no more tennis playing, indecisive, self-absorbed jerks for Cody!"

Jackie laughed, "Gee Cody, still angry?"

Cody smiled, "A little. Good night."

"Wait," Jackie said as Cody moved to turn off the lamp, "you _promise_ there are no more details?"

"I promise."

"Okay then, good night."

_Hanging out behind the club on the weekends  
Acting stupid, getting drunk with my best friends  
I couldn't wait for the summer and the warped tour  
I remember that it's the first time that I saw her there_

_She's getting kicked out of school cause she's failing  
I'm kinda nervous, cause I think all her friends hate me  
She's the one, she'll always be there  
She took my hand and I made it I swear_

_Because I fell in love with the girl at the rock show  
She said what? and I told her that I didn't know  
She's so cool, better sneak me through her window  
Everything's better when she's around  
Can't wait until her parents go out of town  
I fell in love with the girl at the rock show_

_When we said we were gonna move to vegas  
I remember the look her mother gave us  
17 without a purpose or direction  
We don't owe anyone a fuckin explanation_

_I fell in love with the girl at the rock show  
She said what? and I told her that I didn't know  
She's so cool, better sneak me through her window  
Everything's better when she's around  
Can't wait until her parents go out of town  
I fell in love with the girl at the rock show_

_Black and white picture of her on my wall  
I waited for her call, she always kept me waiting  
And if I ever got another chance I'd still ask her to dance  
Because she kept me waiting_

_I fell in love with the girl at the rock show  
She said what? and I told her that I didn't know  
She's so cool, better sneak me through her window  
Everything's better when she's around  
Can't wait until her parents go out of town  
I fell in love with the girl at the rock show_

_With the girl at the rock show  
With the girl at the rock show  
(I'll never forget tonight)  
With the girl at the rock show..._

_-Blink-182 'The Rock Show'_

_Lol, Mr Jameson is actually based on my Gr7 math teacher. He used to get SOOOO off topic, like, every class! The ultimatelow point was when we spent an entire class talking about fat people..._


	8. 8675309 Jenny

Squib sat alone in his room, staring at his history book. He had gone over the same line 15 times, he just couldn't concentrate, not when he was thinking about Cody. When would they see ach other again?

"Get ready, we're going out," said Cameron as he entered.

"What? Why? Where?"

"There are these two girls from Brentwood here for the tournament, and we're going into town with them," Cameron explained.

"We're not allowed," Squib countered.

"Dude, hello? It's Saturday! Now get your stuff and let's go!" Squib shrugged his shoulders and quickly got ready. They walked outside and were greeted by two girls.

"Squib, this is Kara," Cameron said as a short brunette smiled at him, "and this is Gabby," this time, a tall blonde girl was smiling, "girls, this is Squib," Cameron finished. Squib greeted the girls and shook their hands. The group quickly decided on heading to a movie.

* * *

"Do you have any idea what's going on?" Gabby asked Squib.

"No," he laughed, "this flick kinda sucks."

"Well, at least the company's good," she giggled, placing her and on his leg and turning back to the screen. Squib fought of the urge to whack her hand away from him.

* * *

"So, man, what'd you think?" Cameron asked.

"Of what?"

"Of Gabby," Cameron said.

"She bugs me," Squib answered.

"Are you kidding? She's hot man! And totally into you!"

"Yeah, well…" Squib muttered.

"Dude, I don't mean to be harsh, but you've gotta get over Cody," Cameron said gently.

"Whatever," Squib said, "I'm going to take a shower," and he disappeared into the bathroom.

* * *

The next morning, Cameron found himself sighing angrily as he picked up the jeans Squib had left on the floor the night before. Normally he would have just yelled at Squib to do it, but he had gone out early to practice.

"Slob…" he grumbled. Suddenly, something fell out of the pocket. It was a piece of paper with a phone number on it.

"Mind explaining this?" Cameron asked, grinning, as Squib entered to the room.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, I'll put those away," Squib said, taking the jeans from him.

"Not that," said Cameron, "although you _could_ be a little neater…but this!" He held up the piece of paper.

"Oh, Gabby gave me that," Squib shrugged.

"Well,"

"Well what?"

"Are you going to use it?"

"No,"

"Why not?" Cameron asked incredulously.

"I told you last night, she bugs me," Squib said.

"Okay, Squib. I know what your problem with her is. It's not that she's annoying, it's that she isn't a red-head, she isn't short and French, and she doesn't like taking pictures," Cameron smirked.

"For the last time," Squib said, getting angry, "this is not about Cody. I'm over Cody. This is about Gabby, and I just don't like her."

"You keep telling yourself that," Cameron said, leaving.

* * *

"Oh my God!" Adena squealed, running up to her friends at lunch, "Did you hear?"

"About what?" Asked Tannis, intrigued.

"About Cody!"

"What about Cody?" Asked Squib, suddenly interested.

"She's got a _boyfriend_!"

"Seriously?" Asked Cameron.

"Well, I guess, not officially," Adena continued, "but apparently he's really cute, and she really likes him, and they're going out on Friday!"

"Oh my gosh!" This time it was Tannis squealing, "Let's go."

"Go where?" Asked Cameron.

"Adena and I have to go call Cody NOW!" With the two girls dashed off.

"Still over Cody?" Cameron asked a very silent Squib.

* * *

That night, Squib sat staring at his history book. Cody had a boyfriend? Good. He had come to terms with the fact that they weren't going to work out. Hadn't he? Either way, there was nothing he could do, he only hoped this new guy was good enough for her.

"Okay, Squib," Cameron said as he entered, "and I say this as your friend, you're pathetic."

"What?" Asked Squib.

"You've been sitting up here all day, moping," Cameron said.

"I have not," denied Squib.

"Whatever. All I know is you need help," he was met with silence. "Look Squib," he said softly, "you need to move on. She obviously has." When Squib didn't answer, he left.

Cameron was right. Cody was obviously finished with him. She had moved on. Why couldn't he? He wondered if she had even thought of him as she made plans with the other guy. Either way, Squib Furlong did not waste his life crying over girls, no matter how much he cared for them. He needed to move on. And he knew just the person to call. Grabbing a piece of paper from his nightstand, he picked up the phone and dialed the number.

"Hey, Gabby? It's Squib…"

_Jenny, Jenny who can I turn to?  
You give me something I can hold on to  
I know you'll think I'm like the others before  
Who saw your name and number on the wall  
Jenny I've got your number  
I need to make you mine  
Jenny don't change your number  
8 6 7-5 3 0 9 (8 6 7-5 3 0 9)  
8 6 7-5 3 0 9 (8 6 7-5 3 0 9)_

_Jenny, Jenny you're the girl for me  
You don't know me but you make me so happy  
I tried to call you before  
But I lost my nerve  
I tried my imagination  
But I was disturbed_

_Jenny I've got your number  
I need to make you mine  
Jenny don't change your number  
8 6 7-5 3 0 9 (8 6 7-5 3 0 9)  
8 6 7-5 3 0 9 (8 6 7-5 3 0 9)_

_I got it (I got it), I got it  
I got your number on the wall  
I got it (I got it), I got it  
For a good time call_

_Jenny don't change your number  
I need to make you mine  
Jenny I've got your number  
8 6 7-5 3 0 9 (8 6 7-5 3 0 9)  
8 6 7-5 3 0 9 (8 6 7-5 3 0 9)_

_Hey...  
Jenny don't change your number  
I need to make you mine  
Jenny I call your number  
8 6 7-5 3 0 9 (8 6 7-5 3 0 9)  
8 6 7-5 3 0 9 (8 6 7-5 3 0 9)_

_Jenny, Jenny who can I turn to?  
For the price of a dime  
I can always turn to you  
8 6 7-5 3 0 9 (8 6 7-5 3 0 9)  
8 6 7-5 3 0 9 (8 6 7-5 3 0 9)_

_-Tommy Tutone '867-5309/Jenny'_

_Yes, incase you've read the song lyrics and are wondering, I am indeed comparing Gabby to a girl who wrote her # in a public washroom, mwa haha. Oh, and as for the last chap, there is in fact a local band in my town called The Raging Lemurs, but I haven't seen them._


	9. Be Be Your Love

Cody walked into her room, smiling.

"Nice date?" Jackie asked.

"Very," Cody answered, throwing her purse on her bed.

"How was the movie?" Jackie said. Cody blushed. "You don't even know, do you?"

"No," Cody giggled.

"Young love," Jackie sighed jokingly. Cody smiled and headed into the bathroom for a shower.

As she stood under the hot water, she reflected on her date. It had been…nice. She was definitely comfortable with Evan, and they had had a good time. It was just…Squib. Not that he had occupied her mind the whole night or anything, but Cody found him creeping into her mind every once and a while. And when this happened, she suddenly felt very guilty for some reason. She knew it was crazy. For gosh sakes, it had been four weeks! Which, okay, didn't exactly mean Even and her were anything horribly serious, but it _was_ adequate time for her to get over Squib. He had a girlfriend (as Adena had informed her last Saturday), and she had a boyfriend. Everything was how it was supposed to be. Wasn't it?

* * *

"Good night," Gabby smiled, giving Squib a final kiss, before heading back to her car. Squib then turned and walked into his dorm. Gabby had turned out to be better than expected. True, it was a little weird having a girlfriend who didn't go to Cascadia (and Tannis said he was, quote, 'dating the enemy'), but Brentwood wasn't far and they saw each other every weekend. 

Squib opened the door and found his room empty. He figured Cameron must be in the open playing cards with everyone else. That was another thing, Gabby, unknowingly, took away from his friends. Not a lot, of course. They did, after all, attend the same school. But he found himself continually missing card games and movie nights. The thought that if he were with Cody he wouldn't have to miss these things popped into his head. He felt guilty for comparing her to his girlfriend, but it was true. Cody liked just hanging out with friends, Gabby didn't. Not his friends, at least. He quickly shoved the thought out of his mind, and hopped in the shower.

* * *

"Hey," Evan smiled, jogging up to Cody. 

"Hi," she responded, smiling and kissing him lightly.

"So, I was thinking, wanna do something Friday?"

"Of course! Do you even have to ask?" Cody joked.

"Well, I know we usually do something Friday nights," said Evan, "but I meant, like, something special. Not just a movie and coffee kind of thing."

"Well, what kind of special?" Cody asked.

"Like, one month anniversary special," Evan suggested casually. Cody stopped dead in her tracks. She quickly calculated in her head.

"Oh my gosh," she gasped, "It _has_ been one month! And I didn't even notice! I feel terrible!"

"Hey, calm down," Evan laughed, "it's the guy's job anyways."

"You really don't mind?" Cody asked.

"Not at all," Evan kissed her again.

Cody smiled, "So, what were you thinking?"

"I'm taking you out for dinner, and then I have a surprise," Evan grinned.

"I can't wait,"

* * *

"So…this weekend…" Gabby said over the phone. 

"Yeah?" Asked Squib, concentrating on his English homework and only half listening.

"Are we doing anything special?"

"Um, I guess we can, if you want to," Squib said.

"You don't even know what this weekend is, do you?" There was silence on the other end, and Gabby sighed, "It's our one month anniversary, Gary!" Squib cringed. Lately she had taken to calling him Gary, thinking Squib was too silly, and he hated it.

"Oh, uh, right," Squib muttered.

Gabby sighed again, "So, you wanna do something for it?"

"You know…" Squib said slowly, "Gunnerson wanted me to get some extra practice in and…." He trailed off.

"Fine, whatever, I get it," Gabby muttered, "I'll see you next weekend." She hung up before he could respond.

"You know, you're not supposed to lie to your girlfriend," Cameron said from behind Squib.

"How long have you been here?" Squib asked, angry with Cameron for eavesdropping.

"Long enough to here what you said. And I know for a fact you do not have practice this weekend,"

"Look, I'm just not an anniversary kind of guy, okay?" Squib said.

"Fine," Cameron shrugged, "suit yourself. But I bet if it was Cody you would be buying roses and writing love songs right now."

"I would not!" Squib shouted, and at Cameron's smirk, he confessed, "Cody likes Daffodils."

* * *

"So, dinner? Good? Bad?" Evan asked as he led Cody down a dirt path. 

"Very good," she smiled.

"I'm glad," he grinned, "and now, the surprise."

"How much longer?" She asked.

"Not that much further," he assured her.

"Can't you just tell me what it is?"

"Why don't you see for yourself?" As he led her around the corner, Cody saw they were on a small beach. Ties to a rock on shore, was a small, two-person rowboat. It was filled with roses. "They say there's a monster in the lake, maybe we'll find it," Evan laughed.

"Evan, can you take me home?" Cody asked suddenly.

"What? Why?" Evan asked.

"I'm not feeling that great," she said.

"Are you sure there's not another reason?" he asked suspiciously.

She looked down at the ground and said, quietly, "I don't really like boats…"

_If I could take you away  
__Pretend I was queen  
__What would you say?  
__Would you think I'm unreal?  
_'_Cause everybody's got their way I should feel_

_Everybody's talking how I can't, can't be you love  
__But I want, want, want to be your love,  
__Want to be your love for real  
__Everybody's talking how I can't, can't be you love  
__But I want, want, want to be your love,  
__Want to be your love for real  
__Want to be your everything_

_Everything's falling and I am included in that  
__Oh, how I try to be just okay,  
__Yeah, but all I ever really wanted  
__Was a little piece of you  
_

_Everybody's talking how I can't, can't be you love  
__But I want, want, want to be your love,  
__Want to be your love for real  
__Everything will be alright  
__If you just stay the night  
_

_Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away  
__Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away_

_Everybody's talking how I can't, can't be you love  
__But I want, want, want to be your love,  
__Want to be your love for real_

_-Rachel Yamagata 'Be Be Your Love'_


	10. Worn Me Down

"So, Gary, wanna see a movie Friday?" Gabby asked.

"Can't," Squib said into the phone.

"Let me guess, practice, right?"

"Yep," Squib confirmed.

"Right," Gabby sighed, "call you later."

* * *

Squib heard a knocking at the door.

"Coming," he said, quickly moving toward it.

"Hi, Gary," said the girl in the hall as he opened it.

"Gabby? What are you doing here?" Squib asked.

"I just wanted to drop by," she said innocently.

"But, I told you, I have practice," Squib said.

"Really?" Gabby asked, "Because on the way in I met Adena, and she said the coach was gone tonight. How do you have practice without a coach, Squib?"

Squib sighed, "Okay, I lied."

"No kidding,"

"But, I just have a lot of homework to do, and I really _do_ have an early practice tomorrow, and the week's been really busy. But I just didn't want you to feel like I was blowing you off," Squib confessed.

Gabby looked thoughtful, "Okay," she sighed, "but next time, please tell me the truth. I thought you didn't want to spend time with me."

"Of course I do," Squib smiled.

"Okay," she smiled back, "see you next week, then." She gave him a kiss on the check and disappeared out the door.

"Hey man," Cameron said as he came in a few minutes later, "you wanna come down to the open? We rented _Shall We Dance?"_ Squib quirked an eyebrow, "It was the girls' turn to pick," Cameron confessed.

"Might as well," Squib shrugged, smiling.

"So," Cameron began as they walked out, "you have much homework left?"

"Oh, no," Squib said, "I finished it all last night."

* * *

Cody turned on her laptop and found she had a new email. Opening it, she discovered it was from Adena and Tannis, begging her to come home for the November long weekend. Cody smiled, she had missed them. Plus, she had already talked to her dad about it earlier today. Picking up the phone, she decided to call the girls and tell them the good news. But she somehow found herself dialing Squib's number. _Maybe this will give me an excuse to finally talk to him_ Cody thought. She waited for the wave of guilt to come, but it never did. On the fifth ring, the machine picked up.

"Hey, you've reached Squib and Cameron," she heard Squib's voice, "either we're out on the court and I'm kicking Cameron's butt, or we're screening our calls and you didn't make the cut," Cody laughed, "either way, you know what to do. Here's the beep."

Cody took a deep breath, "Hey Squib, it's Cody…"

* * *

"Hey Squib, it's Cody. I just wanted to let you all know I can make it next weekend. Can't wait to see you guys, tell everyone I miss them. See you soon."

Squib pressed the repeat button, ready to listen to the message for a 17th time, when Gabby walked in.

"Gabby? What are you doing here? I told you I have homework…"

"Squib," she interrupted, "I think we need to break up."

"What?" Squib asked, shocked.

"I can't date a guy who's so clearly hung up over another girl," she explained.

"What? I'm not…"

"Yes, you are," she interrupted again, "Cody Myers. You talk about her _all_ the time, and you don't even notice it! I know you miss her. How long do you think you can keep making excuses? I know you're not into this relationship."

Squib paused. Did he really talk about Cody that often? "Look Gabby," he said, ready to launch into a string of excuses. Suddenly, though, he found himself saying, "I'm sorry."

"What?" Gabby asked, not thinking he would give in so easily.

"I'm sorry. This whole thing has been unfair to you,"

"It's okay," Gabby said, softening, "you can't help how you feel about someone. Good luck with Cody, Squib." She smiled, pecked him on the cheek, and with that she was gone. Squib sat down, knowing he should feel at least a little hurt. After all, he had just ended a relationship. However, he found himself pressing the play button on his answering machine again.

"Hey Squib, it's Cody…"

_Gone, she's gone  
How do you feel about it  
That's what I thought  
You're real torn up about it  
And I wish you the best  
But I could do without it  
And I will, because you've worn me down  
Oh, I will, because you've worn me down_

_Worn me down like a road  
I did everything you told  
Worn me down to my knees  
I did everything to please  
But you can't stop thinking about her  
No, you can't stop thinking about her_

_And you're wrong, you're wrong  
I'm not overreacting  
Something is off  
Why don't we ever believe ourselves  
And I, oh, I feel that word for you  
And I will, because you've worn me down  
Oh, I will because you have worn me down_

_Worn me down like a road  
I did everything you told  
Worn me down to my knees  
I did everything to please  
But you can't stop thinking about her  
No, you can't stop thinking about her_

_She's so pretty; she's so damn right  
But I'm so tired of thinking  
About her tonight_

_Worn me down like a road  
I did everything you told  
Worn me down to my knees  
I did everything to please  
But you can't stop thinking about her  
No, you can't stop thinking about her_

_Worn me down like a road  
I did everything you told  
Worn me down to my knees  
I did everything to please  
Worn me down like a road  
I did everything you told to me to do  
But you, you can't stop thinking about her  
No, you can't stop thinking about her  
No, you can't stop thinking about her  
No, you can't stop thinking about her_

_-Rachel Yamagata 'Worn Me Down'_


	11. How

Cody stepped out of the car and onto Cascadia's grounds.

"Glad to be back again?" Her dad asked, smiling.

"Of course," she smiled, "even if it is just a weekend."

"I'll take these back to the house, sweetheart, you head over to the courts and find you friends, practice should be ending soon. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon," Dr. Myers smiled.

"Thanks dad, have fun at your conference," his daughter said, and ran off towards the main courts.

When she arrived, she noticed they were still practicing, so Cody took a seat in the front row of the bleachers. Surprisingly enough, she remained unnoticed (even by Squib), until Coach Gunnerson told the group to head in.

"Cody!" Tannis gasped, running to the bleachers instead of the changing rooms. The rest of the Top Guns followed suite.

"How long have you been here?" Cameron asked when they reached her. She jumped down from the bleachers and embraced Tannis and Adena, then turned and smiled at the two boys.

"Just a few minutes," she informed them.

"Well, we've just gotta go change, but then we're totally doing something!" Adena exclaimed.

"Okay," Cody laughed. As the group headed toward the changing rooms, Squib turned back and flashed Cody a smile. She stayed still for a moment, shocked, but quickly returned it.

* * *

"I vote we watch _Saw_," said Cameron.

"Me too," Squib supported his friend.

"Oh, come on guys, that one's supposed to be really scary!" Tannis whined.

"Hey, you guys picked last week, this time it's our turn," said Squib.

"I think we should let Cody pick this week," Adena tried.

"I'm okay with _Saw_," she shrugged, smiling.

"_Saw_ it is!" Cameron cried happily, while Adena and Tannis glared playfully at Cody.

* * *

"No! No! Check the closet!" Tannis yelled at the screen.

"Tannis," said Cameron, whose eyes were glues to the move, "they can't hear you. But unfortunately we can. Shut up."

"Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh," Adena muttered.

Cody screamed, "There's something coming out of the closet!" She latched her hands on to the nearest thing, which happened to be Squib's arm.

Squib looked down at her, her face illuminated by whatever small light was given off by the screen. Despite tense mood in the room, and the fear coursing through his veins from the movie (though he'd never admit it), he couldn't help but smile slightly. He didn't even mind her nails digging painfully into his arm. That was gonna leave a mark.

* * *

"Oh…my…God," Tannis muttered, as the group watched the credits role. Adena's head was still buried under a pillow, while Cody's hands remained clutched to Squib's arm, where they had been since the closet scene.

"So…." Adena said, finally removing the pillow in favor of breathing, "we need to get back…"

"Walk us Cameron?" Tannis asked quickly.

"Fine," he sighed, smiling, even though he, too, looked a little shaken.

"Oh gosh, I think I may need a walk back, too," Cody admitted to Squib. Laughing, once the others had left.

"You know, I never pegged you as one to get scared so easily," he chuckled.

"Scary movies are my weakness," she admitted.

Squib laughed, "This was nice."

"Yeah. I'm glad we're able to be friends again," Cody told him.

"Yeah…" There were a few moments of only slightly uncomfortable silence. "So, how is he?"

"Who?" Asked Cody.

"You know who, City Girl,"

"He's…great," Cody spoke slowly, "his names Evan. He's really nice. I like him a lot…"

"That's good," said Squib.

"How's Gabby? That is her name, right?"

"Yeah, but she's gone," Squib said.

"What? Why?" asked Cody.

"Oh, we were both really busy with our tennis, and different schools. We never really got to see each other that much," Squib muttered.

"Well, that's too bad," Cody consoled him, wondering if it was wrong that she felt just a little bit happy. A few moments later, Squib spoke again.

"So, you want a walk back?" Squib offered.

"Please," Cody smiled, and the two stood, making their way out of the open. They moved out onto the grounds. Squib saw Cody shiver, and wondered if it was inappropriate to offer his coat to a girl who had a boyfriend. After a moment's thought, he decided to forgo offering, she would just say no to be polite, and instead simply slipped off his coat and placed in on her shoulders. She looked up at him and smiled gratefully.

They arrived at the door to Cody's house, and Squib was about to say good night, when she spoke.

"You wanna come in? I mean, my dad's gone tonight and…"

"Scared of the Saw?" Squib asked.

"A little," Cody admitted, a cute half-smile on her face. Squib nodded and the two stepped inside. They moved to Cody's room, where she slipped of his coat, placing it on her bed. The two teenagers both fell onto the bed, lying on their backs.

"So, New York?" Asked Squib, "Everything you dreamed it would be?"

"Yeah," said Cody slowly, smiling, "it's cool. And I've made friends, so…Not that I'm replacing you guys!" Cody said quickly.

Squib laughed, "Don't worry, Cody, you're allowed to have friends," he assured her.

"Well, what about things here? Anything new?" She asked.

"Not really," he sighed, "practices, matches, the odd tournament."

"Ah yes, the life of a tennis star," she smiled.

"We've really missed you," said Squib, suddenly turning serious and sitting up.

"I've really missed you guys, too," she admitted, following his lead.

"Things haven't been the same without you,"

"It's different without you guys, too. A lot quieter," the two laughed, "but really. It's weird not seeing you four everyday."

"It's weird not hearing the snap of your camera in the stands during a match," Squib chuckled, "I never really even noticed it until it wasn't there anymore."

Cody smiled, "Remember the T-shirts?" She asked, the memory coming to her suddenly.

"Oh, yes," said Squib, knowing exactly what she was talking about, "I was kind of a pig, wasn't I?"

"Yes, you were," she agreed.

"But, hey, Adena licked Jimmy Kane's arm, so it was worth it," the two broke into laughter.

"Definitely," said Cody.

"Wasn't as good as the night we got locked in the gym, though," Squib spoke.

"Yeah," Cody said quietly, "that was a good night."

"You ever miss them?" Squib asked.

Cody knew who we was talking about, "Yeah, sometimes," she admitted, "I'll think of them at the weirdest times. Like we'll be joking around, and suddenly, I can almost hear Meghan's laugh."

"I know what you mean," Squib confided, "I'll be sitting in my room, when Cameron will say something, and for just a moment, I could swear I heard Seb speaking."

" Is it wrong," asked Cody, "that I'm starting to think of them less and less? I mean, I used to think about them everyday. And now…"

"No," Squib assured her, "we're not forgetting them, we'll never forget them, we're just moving on with our lives. It's what they'd want."

"Yeah…" Cody said very faintly, after another moment, she spoke, "We did have fun, didn't we?" She said, almost sadly.

"Yeah, but you'll have fun in New York," Squib told her.

"We saw a band called the Raging Lemurs," Cody said suddenly, chuckling.

Squib's eyes widened at the name, "Any good?"

"No," she laughed, "they sucked. But we had an okay time…"

"Good,"

"He tried to take me on a boat, you know,"

"Who?" Asked Squib, very confused.

"Evan. For our one-month anniversary, he set up this little boat, and he wanted to take me out. He even mentioned there was a monster in the lake," Cody explained.

"Well what do you mean _tried _to take you out?"

"I couldn't do it," Cody confessed quietly.

"No?" Asked Squib.

"No," she confirmed. "I dunno, suddenly I just thought about us on the lake and…It just didn't seem right to go out there with him. I told him I didn't like boats."

"You should have gone," said Squib, knowing it wasn't how he felt, but what he was supposed to say.

"No, I couldn't" Cody repeated. She looked up at him, "I'm glad we're friends again."

"You said that already," he smiled.

"I know. But I just felt the need to repeat it," she said, the both of them subconsciously moving closer, "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," Squib said softly. "I wish you'd never left."

"Sometimes, so do I," they were now speaking in whispers.

"Cody," he breathed as they moved continually closer.

"Squib, I have a boyfriend," she said, not really because she wanted to, but she knew she was closer than a girl with a boyfriend should be to another guy.

"I know," he answered.

"Okay," she nodded, the two of them never breaking eye contact. Now their noses were touching.

"Okay," he repeated.

"Okay," she said again, barely audible. She moved closer, and slowly closed her eyes.

The next moment, their lips met in a long-overdue kiss.

_I didn't come this far for you to make this hard for me.  
And now you want to ask me "how?"  
It's like - how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?  
How does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?_

_Why did you come here?  
You weren't invited.  
And you're on the outside - stay on the outside.  
And now you want to ask me "why?"  
It's like - why does your heart beat, and how do you cry?  
How does your heart beat?_

_And there are some things that I'd like to figure out.  
There are some things that I can do without -  
Like you and your letters that go on forever,  
And you, and the people that were never friends._

_With all the things that you could be,  
You never could learn how to be me.  
And now you want to ask me "how?"  
It's like - how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?  
How does you heart beat, and why do you breathe?_

_-Lisa Loeb 'How'_


	12. Blue Eyes

Squib moved closer to Cody, if that was even possible, and ran one hand through her hair, the two never breaking contact. She slowly slipped her hands behind his neck…

"Cody? Squib?" The two jumped apart at the sound of Adena's voice, and not a moment too soon. A second later she, followed by Cameron and Tannis, barged through the door.

"There you guys are," Cameron said.

"Come on," Adena spoke, "we can't sleep, we're too freaked out by that movie. We're gonna go watch _Shark Tale_."

"_Shark Tale_?" Squib asked.

"It's the happiest movie we've got," Tannis told him.

"Whatever, she sighed, shrugging. The group walked out, Cody and Squib avoiding eye contact.

"Are you okay?" Adena asked Cody, "You look a little flushed."

"Fine," Cody mumbled.

* * *

The real kicker was, Cody thought as she watched _Shark Tale_, that she didn't feel bad. She didn't even feel bad about not feeling bad! She knew it was wrong; after all, she had a boyfriend yet she kissed another guy, but she just couldn't make herself feel guilty! She had enjoyed kissing Squib and, in the back of her mind, knew that if they hadn't been interrupted she would have gladly gone further. 

Squib knew he should feel bad, but he just couldn't. Cody had a boyfriend, for Pete's sake! He had taken advantage of her, well, actually, she had seemed pretty darn willing, but still! He felt a smile cross his face at the memory of their kiss. Nope, try as he might, Squib just couldn't feel bad.

Adena glanced at Cody. The girl still had a blush on her cheeks. She knew something was up! It was weird the way she and Squib were avoiding eye contact. Adena doubted they had gotten into another fight, otherwise they wouldn't be sitting calmly in the same room. She looked at Tannis, who shot her a look revealing she had noticed it, too. The two nodded, making a silent agreement to ask Cody later.

Something had happened between Cody and Squib, Cameron was sure of it. The question was: what? It couldn't have been a fight. If there had been another fight, they wouldn't have agreed to come watch the movie. So then what was up? For a brief second, the thought that maybe they had kissed crossed Cameron's mind. But he quickly brushed it off. After all, Cody had a boyfriend. Then again, this _was_ Cody's and Squib…

* * *

"So…Cody," Adena said in an odd voice. The three girls had decided to camp out in Cody's room for the night. 

"Yes?" Cody asked.

"Anything happen between you and Squib?" Tannis asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I dunno," Adena said, "but you two seem kind of odd."

"Well, no," Cody said.

"Are you sure?" Asked Tannis.

"Yes,"

"Then why are you blushing?" Adena continued the interrogation.

"I dunno," Cody shrieked, annoyed and panicked.

"I think you do," Tannis said, giggling.

"Fine, we kissed, okay?" Cody exclaimed. The room was frozen in a shocked silence for five full seconds.

"This is awesome!" Adena squealed.

"Awesome? I have a boyfriend!" Cody reminded them.

"Oh, who cares? You two are meant to be together anyways. This Evan guy is a total rebound, and we all know it," Tannis laughed.

"So, you kissed," Adena continued, "Then what?"

"Then you guys walked in," Cody told them.

"Really? Gee, prefect timing, huh?" Tannis rolled her eyes.

"It's probably best," Cody admitted begrudgingly.

"You really mean that?" Adena asked, smiling knowingly.

"Well…no…" Cody mumbled as she blushed yet again. "But I should at least talk to him about it. Whether or not I liked it, it can't happen again while I have a boyfriend. Not to mention, I live, like, a million miles away."

"Oh Cody, you're no fun!" Tannis giggled.

* * *

"So, what's up with you and Cody?" Cameron asked. 

"What do you mean?" Squib asked, trying to feign innocence.

"You two seemed a little weird tonight," Cameron clarified.

"Well, no, nothing happened," Squib said.

"You sure?"

"Yes Cameron, I'm sure," Squib said, getting annoyed, "I would remember if something happened, and nothing did."

"Good," said Cameron, "because she has a boyfriend."

Squib sighed, "I know."

* * *

"You gonna talk to him today?" Tannis asked the next morning. 

"Well I have to, don't I? I leave tomorrow afternoon," Cody said.

"Well, let's head down to breakfast, then you can talk to him after," Adena suggested.

Cody never got the chance, though. She and Squib spent breakfast in silence, luckily not that uncomfortable because the rest of the group was chatting away. As soon as he finished, though, he and Cameron left to practice. Cody got the distinct feeling that he was avoiding her. Truthfully, she didn't mind; the longer she could put off this conversation, the better.

"Hey man, Cody's been looking for you," Cameron said as he entered the dorm.

"Oh," said Squib.

"…Aren't you gonna see what she wants?"

"I guess," Squib sighed as he got up. He had a good guess of what Cody wanted to talk about.

Squib knocked on the door. When there was no answer, he slowly opened it and walked in.

"Cody?"

"Is the weather really that bad?" He heard her say, walking around the corner, he saw her in her bedroom, the door open, talking on the phone. "They can't fly _any_ planes out?" She paused, "Okay, dad, but you'll be back in time to drive me to the airport tomorrow, right?" Another pause, "Okay then, see you tomorrow afternoon," she hung up the phone.

"Uh, hey…" Squib said.

Cody spun around, "Oh, hi."

"The door was open so…" Squib trailed off, "You wanted to see me?"

"Uh, ya, come in," Cody said. He entered her room and sat on her bed. "Look Squib, what happened last night…it was wrong. And it can't happen again. Ever."

Squib sighed, knowing that's what she was going to say, "So that's it then? We just leave it like this?"

"Squib, I have a boyfriend! I live in New York now, I have a new life!" Cody cried.

"So we just forget about us? What we had?" Squib asked, getting angry.

"There was never an 'us', Squib! We never had anything!"

"Maybe we never admitted it, maybe never officially, but there was an us! We had _something_!" Squib stood up.

"Well, it's over now!"

"It's over? Just like that? You never felt anything?" Squib demanded. They were both yelling now.

"Of course I did! But not anymore!"

"You don't feel anything?"

"No!"

"I don't believe you!"

"Well, it's true!" Cody yelled. Before she had a chance to say anything else, Squib had grabbed her and crushed her lips in a kiss. Who cared about Evan? Or their friends, or New York, or tennis? Right now it was just Cody and Squib.

She threw her arms around his neck, pulling so they spun around and switched places. Backing up slowly, she felt the back of her knees hit the bed. There wasn't an 'Are you sure?' or 'Are you ready?' for which Cody was glad. She worried that if she was given the chance to think about it, her conscience may step in and talk her out of it. Thankfully, though, when Squib's hand found the buttons of her shirt, she quickly abandoned all rational thought. She fell back onto the bed, taking Squib with her…

_Wish enough, wise man'll tell you a lie  
Window broke, torn up screens  
Who'd have thought that you'd dream  
Of a single tragic scene _

_I just wanna sing a song with you  
I just want to take it off of you_

_Cause Blue Eyes  
You are all that I need  
Cause Blue Eyes  
You're the sweet to my mean_

_Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand  
I can help you to stand  
Saved it up for this dance  
Tell me all the things you can_

_I just wanna sing a song with you  
I just wanna be the one that's true_

_Cause Blue Eyes  
You're the secret I keep  
Cause Blue Eyes_

_All the lights on and you are alive  
But you can't point the way to your heart  
So sublime, when the stars are aligned  
But you don't know  
You don't know the greatness you are_

_Cause Blue Eyes  
You are destiny's scene  
Cause Blue Eyes  
I just wanna be the one_

_I just wanna sing a song with you  
I just wanna get it on with you_

_Cause Blue Eyes  
You're the secret I keep  
Cause Blue Eyes  
I just wanna sing a song with you…_

_-Cary Brothers 'Blue Eyes'_


	13. You Were Meant For Me

Cody stared at her ceiling. It was five-thirty in the morning, and she had been up since three. Last night, she had been basking the…whatever it was…'afterglow', she thought it was called. She hadn't really been thinking about, well, anything. But this morning she had came to her senses. She wasn't going to pretend that it was some magical night of 'de-flowering' as Adena, much to Cody's annoyance, often referred to it as. A virgin Cody Myers was not. She couldn't even chalk it up to a one-night stand, a night of drinking, or pressure from a controlling boyfriend. There had been a couple guys, no one she was very serious with, but none were strangers; they were all nice enough. She was just a kid having fun, not realizing she'd regret it later. She could, however, admit she had never cared about anyone the way she did about Squib. And that in itself made the night kind of special, to her, anyways. The night had been…eloquent, awakening, refreshing, yet so very…real. She had always been rather poetic; she was, after all, an artist. But regardless, Cody had a boyfriend, and she also had morals. For the first time throughout the weekend, she felt guilt creeping up. She half wished that the night had taken place in Squib's room, so she could sneak out and organize her thoughts before he woke up.

She liked Evan, really. He was safe, and comfortable, and there were never any games with him. He wasn't an angst-fest one day, then just a friend the next, and then sweet the day after that. He was a good boyfriend, who said all the right things. And truthfully, although the relationship may have started out as a way to get over Squib, she had developed feelings for him.

Squib, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. She and squib had next to nothing in common; he played tennis and she was into art. He rarely ever said the right thing, usually resorting to insults and jokes because Squib was the kind of person who just _couldn't_ face up to his feelings, even if he wanted to. And when he _did_ try to be sweet, more often then not it came out wrong and he just offended her anyways. The boy had oodles of baggage, what with his past and his parents' pressure. Not to mention the issue of Ryan, which in itself was more drama than Cody and Evan had put together. They often disagreed on _a lot_ of issues; he never failed to make her mad at least once a day. And then there was that stupid cycle they were stuck in. Cody would try to help or do something nice and somehow upset him, he would get into trouble and she'd bail him out, they'd have a couple days of puppy-love sweetness, and then it'd start all over again. Theoretically, on paper, it was the type of relationship every girl tried to avoid. One that, when she thought about it, she should probably get out of for the sake of her mental health. But she couldn't help it. It was Squib.

She sighed. She needed to get out of there, to think, to clear her head. She got up, quickly slipping on some jeans and a sweatshirt, and snuck out the door.

* * *

Squib lay on his side, fully awake but eyes still closed. He knew, from taking a quick glance at the clock, that it was five-thirty in the morning. He also knew Cody was awake; he could hear her breathing beside him, every so often letting a deep sigh escape her lips. He worried about what would happen if he drew her attention to the fact that he was awake. He, himself, felt no guilt about that night. He knew it was arrogant and full of 'that macho guy crap' as the girls called it, but he knew Cody first, before Evan, and he cared for her more. Not to sound possessive, because Cody was definitely not a trophy girlfriend, she was too special for that, but she was _his_ girl.

Last night had been…well, he had never been very poetic. He was, after all, a tennis player, not some artist. But it had been _something_. All the other times had been about being a man and being able to brag to his friends. He was a boy who wanted to grow up, and had found a way to do it. But last night had been about her, about Cody. Three months of hurt and fighting and awkward moments and passion had come undone.

Cody, though, would have second thoughts about it. He knew she would. Cody was not the type of girl to cheat on her boyfriend, no matter how much or little she cared for either of them. His only regret about the night was what her reaction would be. He feared she'd panic, or realize she'd made a mistake, and then they'd be back, yet again, to square one. Maybe if they could just talk…

He heard the sheet rustling and felt her get out of bed. He listened quietly as she dressed and walked out the door.

Yep. Back to square one.

* * *

Cody wandered around the grounds of Cascadia, thankful that everyone would most likely be sleeping in due to the fact that the Coach had left Saturday morning and was not scheduled to return until that evening. She had to talk to Squib, she knew she did. What she was going to say, however, was a different matter. Truthfully, she didn't know what she wanted. It wasn't just the issue of Evan, but of New York as well. Long distance relationships were not a good thing, they never were. She had only been back twice in three months. Is that what she wanted? To only be able to see her boyfriend two weekends every three months, most of which would be taken up by practice and friends? She knew it wasn't. True, she hadn't adjusted to New York yet, after three months. But it was getting better. She felt comfortable talking to the people there, beginning to see them as friends rather than just classmates. And if she felt truly alone, she could always seek comfort in Evan. But her New York friends liked to go to concerts and parties, which was fun. But she knew they weren't the type of people who made pacts or got themselves locked in the gym overnight, and the thought made her almost sad. She sighed and headed towards the back courts.

Squib sighed as he swung his racquet, sending the little green ball at the wall once more. He wondered if he should maybe seek out Cody, but he knew she needed time. He was almost angry with her; he knew what she would say. It was a mistake, shouldn't have happened…the usual. And she said he was indecisive. He was getting a little sick of this game. Several times in the past three months he had thought he and Cody had finally moved past everything, and even more times he thought he would never see her again. As much as he cared about her, this relationship, if he could call it that, was a lot of stress.

But, he had to remind himself, it wasn't always like this. Only during the last three months had things gotten so complicated. If only things could go back to normal, back to the time when she'd be in the stands cheering for him, even if Sunny was leading 40-Love. Back to when they're sneak around after lights out and she's reluctantly help him with his weird schemes. Back to when he didn't mind all that much if Rick or Sunny or Gunnerson or any of the various other peoples at Cascadia interrupted them, because he knew she's always be there and it would happen when it happened. Back to when they were teenagers, instead of the adults this whole situation made Squib feel like.

He heard the shuffle of feet behind him, and willed himself to turn around. A part of him resisted, hoping that maybe if he didn't see her, he could buy a few more minutes before the conversation he knew would not end good. He did, however, turn to face her.

Cody honestly hadn't expected him to be out here. When she had left, she'd thought he'd been fast asleep. He was here, though, and she supposed now was as good a time as any to get it over with.

"Look, Squib," She started. _Not even an awkward 'hey'_ Squib thought _this is going to be worse that I imagined_. "Last night," she continued…

"Shouldn't have happened and can't happen again," he cut her off, "I know, I know," he realized it had come out harsher than he intended, but he didn't really care at that point.

"Why are you so mad?" She asked, sounding slightly shocked and a little accusatory, "You were part of it, too!"

"I know I was," he countered, "and I know I was part of that kiss, too. But I'm not the one who keeps backing out afterwards!"

"You think this is easy?" She cried, "I have…"

He cut her off again, "A boyfriend, a life in New York! I know Cody, I've heard it all!"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, fighting back tears. Had Squib not been so angry at the moment, he would've felt guilty. He was, however, and he simply stood and waited for her response. "I'm sorry, okay," she spoke, "I know I screwed everything up, and I wish it was easy, but it's not."

"Especially not when you have Mr. Perfect and a brand new life in the Big Apple," he mocked.

"_Shut up_!" She screamed, "Just _shut up!_ You have no idea what I'm feeling right now! You have no idea how hard this whole thing has been for me! You have no right to criticize me, this is my life, not yours!"

"You're right, it's your life, and I'm obviously not a part of that anymore," he said coldly.

"I guess not," she said quietly, as if defeated. "I guess I'll go then. I have to pack."

"Have fun in New York," he mumbled, turning back to the wall and continuing his hitting. He didn't even have the energy to fight for her. He cared about her, probably more than he had cared about anyone else, even Ryan. But he was tired and hurt, and Gary Furlong knew when to quit.

A part of her wished he would fight, ask her to stay. But she knew it was best that he didn't, because she probably would. Besides, them being angry at each other was easier than them separating having admitted their feelings for each other. This way she wouldn't be plagued by the doubts and 'what ifs'. This way it final; she knew. She didn't like it, but she knew. Her and Squib were over. The sad part was they had gone through a year of ups and downs and great moments and huge fights, and all for nothing; it never got them anywhere.

She took one last sad look at his back, and then slowly turned and walked away. Her dad would be home soon, and she had a plane to catch.

Squib knew she was gone. It was that feeling you get when someone's staring at you, and you can feel it when they look away. He didn't care, he told himself. She'd made her choice, and it didn't include him. He swung angrily at the tennis ball, taking out his frustrations on the fussy green instrument. He stayed out there until three o'clock, when he was sure Cody was gone, the only sound he could hear was the ball slamming against the faded gray wall.

_I hear the clock, it's 6am  
__I feel so far away from where I've been  
__Got my eggs, and my pancakes too  
__Got my maple syrup, everything but you  
__I break the yolks and make a smiley face  
__I kinda like it in my brand new place  
__I wipe the spots off of the mirror  
__Don't leave the keys in the door  
__Never put wet towels on the floor anymore 'cause_

_Dreams last so long  
__Even after you're gone  
__I know, that you love me  
__And soon you will see  
__You were meant for me  
__And I was meant for you_

_Called my momma, she was out for a walk  
__Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk  
__Picked up a paper, it was more bad news  
__More hearts being broken or people being used  
__Put on my coat in the pouring rain  
__Saw a movie it just wasn't the same  
__'Cause it was happy and I was sad  
__It made me miss you oh so bad_

_Dreams last so long  
__Even after you're gone  
__I know, that you love me  
__And soon you will see  
__You were meant for me  
__And I was meant for you_

_Go about my business, I'm doing fine  
__Besides, what would I say if I had you on the line  
__Same old story, not much to say  
__Hearts are broken every day_

_Brush my teeth and put the cap back on  
__I know you hate it when I leave the light on  
__I pick up a book, Turn the sheets down  
__Take a deep breath and a good look around_

_Put on my pj's and hop into bed  
__I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead  
__I try and tell myself it'll be all right  
__I just shouldn't think anymore tonight_

_Dreams last so long  
__Even after you're gone  
__I know, that you love me  
__And soon you will see  
__You were meant for me  
__And I was meant for you_

_-Jewel 'You Were Meant For Me'_


	14. Champagne Supernova

Cody sighed as she walked into her dorm room. She threw her bag onto her bed, when she saw a note on her dresser.

_Cody,_

_Welcome home! Spending the night in Meghan's dorm, see you tomorrow._

_-Jackie_

Cody fell down onto her bed, but only rested for a few seconds. Sitting up, she slipped on her jacket and walked out of the dorm. She knew she had to talk to Evan. No matter how bad she was feeling at the moment, she had to tell Evan, we was her boyfriend and he had a right to know.

"Wow…" was all Evan said after Cody explained her trip.

"Yeah…" Cody agreed.

"So you…cheated on me?" He asked.

"No," she said quickly, "well, yes…But that's it, it's over. I am finished with Squib. Forever."

Evan smiled sadly, "No you're not, Cody."

"What?" She looked confused.

"You'll never be finished with Squib," he said.

"Didn't you hear me? I am finished with him! Done! Over! I never want to see him again!"

"Cody," Evan tried again, "I know you. And I know that whatever it is you feel for this guy will never be over. Whatever weird thing you guys have, you'll have forever…"

"But that's not what I want!" Cody interjected.

"Let me finish," he chastised jokingly, "I know you'll always have something for Squib. But you're an amazing girl, Cody. You're unlike anyone I've ever met before. And I really do want to make this work. So I'm willing to give it another shot, if you are."

Cody sat silently. This was it; this choice would determine her future. This was her chance to erase her relationship with Squib, and all the drama that had come with it. She could start fresh, in a new city with a new, normal boyfriend. This was good for her, she knew. She looked up at Evan, ready to give her response.

* * *

Jackie entered the dorm later that night with Meghan following close behind.

"Cody," she called, "you in here? Wanna come watch a movie with us?" She was met by silence and Meghan flicked on the lights. There on Cody's newly made bed was a note.

_Jackie,_

_Don't have a lot of time, plane leaves soon. I'm going back to Canada, Evan will explain it all. Thanks for everything; you and your friends were all amazing. Miss you all,_

_Cody._

"So she's just…gone?" Asked Meghan.

Jackie chuckled almost sadly, "Truthfully, I was surprised she lasted this long."

* * *

Cody anticipation grew as she saw the lights of the airport grow nearer. She had tried to sleep during the flight, but her nerves and the rain pounding against the windows had made it impossible. Her dad, luckily, had been only too happy to buy his daughter another plane ticket, so long as it meant she was coming home. As soon as she called him, he had gotten her a seat on the earliest possible flight.

"The car's this way," her dad yelled over the downpour. She followed him through the parking lot, the two of them struggling to fit under the black umbrella. Cody was silent most of the ride home, and her dad didn't push her. He would ask her about her sudden change of mind the next day, but for now he understood that the last thing she wanted was an interrogation.

Cody barged into the house, tossing her luggage on the floor. She picked up the phone and dialed Squib's dorm number. Nothing. Sighing, she ran out the door.

"Dad, I'm going out!"

"Wait, don't you want an umbrella? Or at least a jacket?" Hartley Myers called, but it was too late, she was gone.

Cody ran towards the open, figuring that if Squib wasn't in his dorm that was the next logical place.

"Cody?" Tannis cried. She could understand their shock. She was supposed to be in New York, and yet here she was standing in the open at almost ten o'clock at night, soaking yet. She knew they'd want answers, but she didn't have time for that right now. Cameron, Tannis, Adena, Sunny, and even Rick were all crowded around the television watching a movie, but there was no Squib.

"What are you doing here?" A dazed Cameron asked.

"Where's Squib?" She asked.

"But Cody, what…"

She cut off Sunny, "Where's Squib?"

Adena was the only one who seemed to sense the urgency in her voice, "He you at the back courts, hitting."

"Thanks!" Cody called and ran towards the door again.

"But Cody," Adena yelled, "you'll catch pneumonia!"

"That's nice," Cody replied as she ran out the door.

As Cody ran towards to back courts, she wondered if maybe she should have brought an umbrella. The rain was now coming down so hard is was almost impossible to see. She was just lucky she knew the way so well.

"Squib!" She called when he came into view. He whirled around and stared at her in shock.

"Cody?" He yelled over the rain.

"Yeah," she replied. He moved closer so he could hear her.

"What are you doing here? What happened to New York?"

"I figured one term in New York was enough for me," She answered, smiling.

"And Evan?" He asked cautiously.

She wiped her hair out of her face and shivered slightly, "I figured one term with Evan was enough for me," when he was silent, she continued, "Squib, I'm so sorry about everything. I never should have…" she was cut off by his lips pressing into hers.

There weren't any I Love You's or I Miss You's. She didn't care about her friends, or New York, or Cascadia, or Evan, of even pneumonia. Heck, she wasn't even cold anymore. This, Cody realized, was how it was supposed to be. No confusing words, no drama, no second thoughts. It wasn't some miracle with bells and music and a chorus of angels like it is in the movies. It was just her and Squib, in the rain. And that, she thought, was pretty miraculous.

_How many special people change  
__How many lives are living strange  
__Where were you when we were getting high?  
__Slowly walking down the hall  
__Faster than a cannon ball  
__Where were you while we were getting high? _

_Some day you will find me  
__Caught beneath the landslide  
__In a champagne supernova in the sky  
__Some day you will find me  
__Caught beneath the landslide  
__In a champagne supernova  
__A champagne supernova in the sky _

_Wake up the dawn and ask her why  
__A dreamer dreams she never dies  
__Wipe that tear away now from your eye  
__Slowly walking down the hall  
__Faster than a cannon ball  
__Where were you when we were getting high? _

_Some day you will find me  
__Caught beneath the landslide  
__In a champagne supernova in the sky  
__Some day you will find me  
__Caught beneath the landslide  
__In a champagne supernova  
__A champagne supernova in the sky _

_Cos people believe that they're  
__Gonna get away for the summer  
__But you and I, we live and die  
__The world's still spinning round  
__We don't know why  
__Why, why, why, why _

_How many special people change  
__How many lives are living strange  
__Where were you when we were getting high?  
__Slowly walking down the hall  
__Faster than a cannon ball  
__Where were you while we were getting high? _

_Some day you will find me  
__Caught beneath the landslide  
__In a champagne supernova in the sky  
__Some day you will find me  
__Caught beneath the landslide  
__In a champagne supernova  
__A champagne supernova in the sky _

_Cos people believe that they're  
__Gonna get away for the summer  
__But you and I, we live and die  
__The world's still spinning round  
__We don't know why  
__Why, why, why, why  
__How many special people change  
__How many lives are living strange  
__Where were you when we were getting high?  
__We were getting high  
__We were getting high  
__We were getting high  
__We were getting high_

_-Oasis 'Champagne Supernova'_

_-END-_


End file.
